I took a nap this afternoon, which means now I'm not tired but still very very weak. I am having a hard time concentrating though I was told that fasting sharpens your mind. Hmmm . . . not mine. Reasons don't matter now. This is just simply a commitment. I desire for God to speak to me through this, and He has, but that no longer is the primary purpose. It started out being the most important thing, and tomorrow I will share some of the incredible insights God is giving me and some things that could never have been learned any other way. But for right now, it's just simply commitment.
Sometimes, the only reason we serve God, the only reason we are on time to work, the only reason we don't steal when the opportunity is flawless, the only reason we are faithful to our wives . . . is commitment. Commitment to obedience. It's not blind obedience, but it's not all-knowing either which means it is obedience without promise, without reward, and without reason. So God has revealed to me that my fast ends tomorrow, and I'm not looking for any great revelation or spiritual experience that I can say made this all worth while. Instead, I am basking in the hope of a recovery and healing for my body that is badly needed, and the confidence that I can obey. If I can do this, there is no excuse for giving in to any of my sins. No, I'm not expecting perfection now (HA!) - it actually helps me understand my sinfulness more. I have had the ability and will always have the ability to say no to the gods I serve over Jesus. This past week I've put no food into my mouth. In my future I do not ever have to sin. But I will. There is no room for justifying it - it will always be pure rebellion. The ability to not sin, but the willfulness to do it anyway, makes me nothing but a reprobate. I appreciate the love of Jesus even more now. His grace is truly, amazing.
So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty. Luke 17:10
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