I've gone three days with no food. I feel God is really putting me to the test. In the last three days I've had two discipleship lunches, and a guy in our church asked me to work out with him. After the work out I had a church softball game to play. Then of course tonight was our church picnic in the park - an outreach to our community complete with hotdogs and burgers and everything that goes with it. I justified getting a strawberry banana smoothie from Dairy Queen after the work out, and tonight after the 98 degree weather so that I wouldn't faint. But I still feel guilty about it, so I think the Lord is telling me to stick with the true liquids. I have a multi-vitamin every morning, but I can feel already the weakness coming on. When Jesus fasted, he had no vitamins, smoothies, or airconditioning: just the wilderness and Himself.
I think I might be understanding the true reason for all this. I want to show God how important He is to me, and how hungry I am for Him. I desire for Him to speak to me, and fasting somehow relates to that. Maybe, though, the reality of how this all works is through death. As my body is dying (I swear I can feel my organs shutting down) and I become more "light headed" and lethargic, I do feel this "out of body experience" that is more physical than spiritual. But the two are related - the further from my body I get, the more the reality of the spiritual and even who God is - gets closer. By closer, I just mean more real. My priorities focus, and I just feel closer to the next world the further from health I am in this one. Not that I'm really dying, but I'm definitely quickening the process. If I didn't eat at all, I truly would be in God's presence in a just a few short months.
So I'm reminded on a minute by minute basis of God. My body won't let me forget why I'm doing this . . . seeking God's direction and voice.
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